I think what the most people do not understand how important mental health is for all of us. I realized that I need help when I feel in a deep black hole. After it took me 3 months working with all government offices and police etc to have Tiago back home and give him his eternal rest in his hometown a lot of pressure feel of me. It took me some days to realize that I alone will not be able to get out of this dark black hole, that I feel in. I had no idea what to do with myself and the persons around me. I only felt that I am a burden to my wife and son with the way I am. So I reached out to a psychologist and told her what I was going through and how do I feel. I knew that I needed help as my mental state was not good and I got annoyed by small things or could not do normal things it was as I was caught between worlds. So I started my therapy sessions, the first ones have been really though and I think I was crying more then talking. But with the time I could open up and talk about it, the interesting thing as more as I talked about it I wanted other people to be aware of my situation. Even after a year I am still in therapy and not sure for how long or if I ever can stop. As yes I still have break downs and days where I feel the world around me does not understand me at all. But it helps to share the pain and it is a kind of relief that you start talking public yes I will have tears in my eyes when I talk to you, but hey it is ok as it still hurts but I am talking about my son Tiago and it will be my way of dealing with it. The only advise I can give there is no shame to go and get mental care help, it shows you are a strong person and it will not heal your pain or ease it but it helps you to life with it. Also what is my luck I have the woman on my site that loves me and she is as me devastated but we are a team and yes we got closer than before as we can lean on the other we talk and cry together but that is what a strong relation is build up.
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